Local matchmaker Rebekah Sweeney offers dating detox to local singles
But finding yin to a yang can be a struggle for both sexes.
That's when Sweeney, aka the White Rose Matchmaker, steps in.
She started her regional matchmaking business in May. Now, she has 33 clients - gay and straight - most of whom are fed up with online dating, she said.
"People don't know how to get out of that rut," she said.
On a recent Thursday, she shared her wisdom with a handful of York singles during her free Dating Detox class.
The goal is to help people find "the happiest place on Earth" with healthy monogamous relationships or marriages.
Sweeney knows what's she's talking about. After marrying young and getting divorced, she was thrown into the dating scene again. It wasn't long before she became fed up and developed the detox classes with a friend. Now happily married, Sweeney said she wanted to share her experiences to help others.
At the class, she told participants to focus on themselves instead of worrying about impressing others.
"What do you offer in a relationship?" she asked.
The answer was harder to answer than most participants, whose ages ranged from 30 to 60, expected.
Sweeney had them list what makes them happy along with the good and bad traits of former flames.
Jim Mulay, 48, of West Manchester Township, said he knew he was going to avoid people with "the two I's:" insecurity and immaturity.
Then, the group talked about five areas that affect relationships: spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual and financial. Sweeney said that people should look to compliment - not complete - their significant other in those areas.
Sweeney said most men are looking for women with financial independence. Most women are looking for a mate who is emotionally compatible and isn't afraid to get a pedicure.
Her most common complaint is that people think they've dated everyone in the area. But, she told the group, it's important to be open to people who might not initially catch your eye.
Laughter, questions and periods for inner reflection punctuated the hour-and-a-half long lecture.
Inappropriate text messages, e-mail break-ups, gym pick-ups and male-only motorcycle trips were a few topics brought up in the class.
And participants left with homework.
Using their lists, Sweeney told group members to create their ideal mate.
Then, she told participants that they should only book a date with one person in the next two weeks: Themselves. She suggested they enjoy a meal at a local restaurant sitting at a table for one.
"It seem so scary, but so necessary," Leilani LaBrie of Harrisburg said.
- ERIN McCRACKEN, FLIPSIDE STAFF
Quick dating tips
Dating someone in a different political party is usually a bad idea.
Stick to two drinks maximum on a first date to avoid sharing too much information.
Meet your date at the restaurant/bar. That way, if it goes badly, you can leave alone.
Don't go out with several friends. People are usually intimidated by big groups.
Source: Rebekah Sweeney
For many of us, that journey down the love path seems to be a thing
of the past. We find our daydreams filled with old lovers, as we “Can’t
they just drop dead and make my life easier?”
After many years of
hearing stories from many men and women about failed relationships, I am
still able to tell them: There is hope. It’s out there waiting for you.
I want them to understand that all they have to do is be ready to
receive it, want it with all their heart and be ready to offer exactly
what it is they are looking for. It’s like the lotto commercial, “All
you need is a dollar and a dream.”
There are people every week
standing in line to buy their tickets in hopes that this week might just
be the week for them to win BIG! Your chances in love are better!
So I ask why
can’t we all think that way about LOVE?
I am sharing in that hope
for love fulfilled during this weekend of joy at my sister’s second
wedding. I am so excited and thrilled for her. She has found her true
love, her guy who makes her glow, creates giddiness inside her and
ignites her fire. Life is awesome for her, but how did she get there
from what I remember to be a disastrous divorce that left her a single
mother of two very young girls? I watched her hang on to employment,
start nursing school, make sure the girls attended gymnastics and dance,
all at the same time determined to mend her broken heart and find her
great love.
She found the dream! It’s reality. And every week along
the way she reminded herself that he was out there, she just had to be
out there ready to receive.
White Rose Matchmaker
Rebekah Sweeney
Bi-monthly column now featured in Your Community Woman's Journal
